We Don't Need No More Stinkin' Snow-- Part 1

This past Sunday's Chicago Tribune ran a Chicago and General Snow history lesson by Mark Jacob.

Some items of interest both Mark's and mine, also Eric Zorn:

How High is It?-- Snowfall records have been kept in Chicago for the last 124 years. During that time, more than 4,500 inches have fallen. That would pile up to about the 29th floor of the Sears Tower, and Bob was complaining about a measly little 23.1 inches in '67.

Wilson Alwyn Bentley-- Vermont farmer and amateur photographer who, beginning in the 1880s, took thousands of pictures of snowflakes on black velvet. Old "Snowflake" believed no two were alike and set out to prove it. Died in 1933 of pneumonia contracted when he walked home in a blizzard. Here a flake, there a flake....

Blizzard of 1967 or Bob's Aching Back-- The 1967 blizzard in Chicago was one mighty strange weather event. On Jan. 24, it was 65 degrees! and there was a tornado watch! Two days later, a snowstorm dropped 23.1 inches of snow on Chicago in 29 hours, effectively shutting everything down. Milwaukee, about 60 miles north, got 2 inches, and Champagne, about 100 miles south, got only rain. Talk about being in the wrong spot!!! For more on Bob's Aching Back, see the Bob's Aching Back entry.

Bozo-- Seven hours after the storm began, with snow falling at the rate of an inch an hour. 193 people showed up at WGN-TV's studios for the Bozo Show. Tickets were that hard to get, often until several years after your request. A little thing like the "storm of the century" wasn't going to stop those parents from bringing their kids to see Ringmaster Ned and the Boze. Real Grand Prize Winners.

1979 Snow Does in Mayor Bilandic, Hello Jane-- Chicago's 1979 snow, which just kept coming and coming and coming anywhere from three to five inches every day, did in Mayor Daley's hand-picked successor, Michael Bilandic. This opened the way for Chicago's first female mayor, Jane Byrne, who capitalized on Bilandic's inability to keep up with the white stuff.

Blue Light Snow Special at K-Mart-- Snow mounted up tremendously during the winter of 1979. I was actually getting to the point I was having trouble throwing shoveled snow up on the piles beside the driveway in Round Lake Beach, Illinois. They were that high.

Then, we made the national news. Part of the roof of our fairly new K-Mart collapsed under the weight of all that snow. No one was killed fortunately, but some were injured. "Attention K-Mart shoppers, we're having a special on snow in aisles 33 through 59."

Chicago-style "Dibs"-- If you're ever in Chicago's neighborhoods after a snowstorm, you will see all sorts of folding and kitchen chairs and other junk out in front of the bungalows. No, they're not having a snow sale or garbage pickup.

This is a time-honored Chicago tradition whereby people claim the areas they clear off in front of their homes for their private domain. Only THEY can park their vehicles there!!!

If you transgress, and have the unmitigated gall to park in such a dibbed spot, be prepared for not-nice words or even physical contacts. These folks take it very seriously.

I once made the mistake of parking at one of these spots and can attest to everything I say.

"Dib" Cheaters-- Lately, somewhat of a controversy has started about certain cheaters who park their cars in front of their homes when snow is falling and then simply pull out. They didn't even shovel off their "parking space." Mighty lazy folks, but I still don't suggest you try to park in that spot.

Is it Fair to "Dib?"-- Chicago Tribune columnist Eric Zorn went out driving around Chicago's Northwest Side and found "Dibbing" alive and well. The Tribune website had an unscientific poll as to whether or not this practice should be allowed. 61.4% of respondents said "Never. This is a selfish and ugly practice that we should discourage." Must have been suburbanites. 37.1% said "Only if they've shoveled out the space." 1.5% said, "As long as there's snow on the ground, the space belongs to the person who puts his stuff there first." Definite Chicagoans. I wonder if they've ever had claim-jumping?

I'm not even going to get into the neighborhood parking stickers required for any popular area in the city. If you don't live in the neighborhood, you can't park on the street. If you do, you get towed and will have to give up your first-born to the Lincoln Park Pirates who'll tow anything away, right Steve Goodman.

That's a Real Snowjob. --Da Coot